One of the baristas in the Bermuda Triangle of Starbucks in my central downtown location is a retired high school Classics teacher. He's also functionally insane.
He does the morning shift -- between about 6:30 and 10:30 a.m. -- and is famous for heaping abuse on customers, pontificating about some item or other that he's read in the news that day, or debating the relative merits of Spartan vs. Athenian culture.
If you should happen to be carrying a little extra poundage and request, for example, an extra shot of caramel in your macchiato, he'll loudly proclaim it for all to hear. "Make that caramel overflowing," he'll yell. "Let it positively drip down the side of the cup! Leave out the coffee if you have to."
This dude is probably singlehandedly responsible for the incredible number of Boot Camps springing up across the city these days.
He's our very own soup Nazi.
Yesterday he had a sign on his cash register: I am Cerberus.
Cerberus, you'll remember, is the three-headed hound that guards the gates of hell. He's tastefully attired with a snake for a head and snakes down his back. Nice image for a Tuesday morning.
It reminds me of that great scene from Ghostbusters, where Rick Moranis peaks into the dark bedroom during a party and says, "Hey, who brought the dog?" before he himself becomes a hell hound.
Hope your day isn't too hellish.
1 comment:
Franny - about your upcoming dates. I sense your future with these guys are going to be a little challenged unless they have surrendered their egos. You are one smart person - Cerberus - wow.
And what a label ... and at Starbucks! I wonder what Howard Schultz would say?
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