In my personal life, I've made considerable progress in staying out of people's business. Not interfering when someone could and should be doing something for themselves.It wasn't always that way.
Used to be that every bird with a broken wing was target for saving. Just a glimmer of helplessness or whiff of struggle and I was at your doorstep ready to help -- well, take over and do it for you.
It wasn't very helpful. Not helpful for the little bird and definitely not helpful for me.
The little birds never learned how to fly. How could they, with Mama Bird hovering so menacingly overhead shouting instructions? And Mama Bird (that be me if, if you're following the metaphor) just grew more resentful that all this well-meant assistance wasn't followed to the letter.
Well I told you how to do it and you didn't listen to me...what's wrong with you?
Sound insane? It was. And it is, periodically.
You see, while I've made considerable progress in my personal life, I sometimes struggle with this same phenomenon in my work life.
I have an entire department of little birds to manage. Some are more frequent flyers than others. Some are nursing a broken wing or a an ingrown claw.
In the dance I do between being a worker bee and a manager, I sometimes need to be directive about what needs to be done. I need to give flying instructions.
It's my least favourite part of the job, because it triggers my saving instinct.
If I see a little bird about to fall out of the nest and take the rest of us with him, I need to say something.
It's not always possible to let someone learn for themselves on the job.
So I ponder this question: When the little bird is chirping "helpless" but doesn't take the assistance that's given...what do you do then?
3 comments:
If the little bird does not take the assistance that is offered to it, I generally tend to let Darwin and Natural Selection take over. Then I try not to feel bad about it - thinking that the bird was in the wrong nest to start with.
(I corrected my spelling mistakes this time)
You let that little bird die a lonely and painful death.
Okay, kidding aside... if you offer advice and they don't take it, they will have to figure things out for themselves - and deal with the consequences, too. Right? Try not to say "I told you so" when they learn the hard way.
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