And the Oscar goes to...

I watched last night's Oscar marathon with a couple of gay men and a girlfriend who has, for years, read Entertainment Weekly like it's the Dead Sea Scrolls. I'd recommend this if you're looking for something other than ambivalence on Oscar night. A critical, hysterical mass, by anyone's standards.

A few thoughts:

Considering that those watching the event were commie, homo-loving sons-of-guns, there were tears all round when "Milk" won for original screenplay and a collective woop when Sean Penn collected the best Oscar nod -- although we were all kind of looking forward to seeing what Mickey Rourke would say about his dead chihuahua if he managed to bag the prize.

Hopefully the shenanigans of its star balancing the Oscar on his chin will find even more of an audience for the riveting documentary Man on Wire. See this movie.

Ann Hathaway can sing and helped make the opening number fresh and fun, rather than cringe-worthy. Amy Adams must be really pissed about the competition.

The compilation song and dance number, put together by Baz Luhrman, was way better than the three hour tragedy that was "Australia".

Best dressed -- Kate Winslet. Gorgeous dress and the best hair.

Worst dress but best agent -- Jessica Biel. No one can remember anything Jessica Biel has ever done, yet she manages to turn up at every Hollywood event. Starmaker's machinery.

Couple about to break up -- Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick. This from my EW-loving friend.

Couple you want to watch having sex -- Brangelina. Does anyone remember the year Angie turned up on the red carpet wearing a vial of Billy Bob's blood around her neck? I long for those days. I'm getting tired of the Mama Theresa smile.

Directors I'd like to have dinner with -- Gus Van Sant and Danny Boyle.

What did you think of this year's show?