Canadian Political Leadership is an Oxymoron

I've been hiding my eyes and cowering behind the settee as our ridiculous politicians duke it out for the role of school yard bully.

I say, fire them all. And I have a few suggestions for who could replace them.

Ann Murray. This Canadian songbird understands the Canadian identity (think "Snowbird"), plays a killer game of golf, and has East Coast roots, which probably means she'd stop to help us start our cars if they stalled in winter. A vote for Ann Murray is a vote for Canadiana.

Michaelle Jean. Sure she's our Governor General, but she's a lot prettier than the other candidates in the pool, and she's proven she likes a good documentary. Jean was just one of the reasons I watched The Passionate Eye with a certain amount of religious fervour.

Steven Page. This lead singer of the Barenaked Ladies, who was unfortunately busted for cocaine possession about the same time his children's album came out, would at least have the manufactured energy for the job. Plus, who can get his "Lovers in a Dangerous Time" song out of their heads.

Pierre Trudeau. Do you actually have to be alive to be Prime Minister? I don't think so. Have you seen Stephane Dion recently?

The Jonas Brothers. Want leaders that will get the kids excited? Marketing idea: a kissable ballot.