No Accidents

Have you wondered about the role that fate plays in the people who populate your world?

Here in Canada, for example, leadership of the Liberal Party is being duked out by two fellows who just happened to be roommates in university. They were best friends. Now bitter rivals.

What force put them together, and intertwined their fates for years to come?

I've been getting to know a new friend with a bright and shiny heart recently.

Last night, over dinner, we discovered that we'd both been at a Michael Palin reading on the U of T campas, maybe 6 or 7 years ago.

It was a fairly obscure event, not particularly well-advertised and not even particularly well-attended. Yet me and this person who has come to populate my world, were both there at the same time. And we were both similarly dumb-struck in front of our comedic idol.

And then there's the Rickie-Lee Jones concert I attended with my best friend at Massey Hall back in the 80s. We were both in university at the time. Fast forward more than twenty years and I discover that my ex was there, too. Also sitting in balcony. Similarly awed by an incredible performance.

Lesson?

Maybe it's pay attention to the people who circumnavigate your personal globe. They're here for a reason. Treat them kindly. Learn from them.

Someone -- not you -- is in charge of the master plan.

Little Gems

I love writing for Canadian Tourism because when I do, I get to talk about some of the hidden gems you only know about when you actually live in a city. Places like Urban Herbivore.

For the vegans among us, Urban Herbivore in Kensington Market is one of those places you only dream about. You can eat ANYTHING on the menu. And it's served up, with love, by folks who look like they really couldn't work anywhere else, except maybe a record store. Guys who have ear plugs like a Masai warrior, and girls covered in full body tattoos.

It's one of my favourite places to go on winter weekends, because they serve up a killer Sweet Potato and Date muffin, and a cup of ginger green tea, with tons of real ginger floating in it. If I get there before the sweet potato muffins come out of the oven, I can be fairly happy with the Apple Walnut, as well.

After that, it's only a short walk down the street to The Blue Banana. This is shopping at its finest. Dozens of tiny shops under a single roof. I bought the cutest boiled wool wrap skirt there a couple of weeks ago, made entirely from recycled fabrics. If you like the One of a Kind Show, you'll like The Blue Banana even more, since it's year-round and free to browse.

But you'd be remiss for leaving Kensington Market without poking around one of the areas many vintage clothing stores. I've always had a lot of luck with Exile, but I think that's because the staff is incredibly friendly, and I feel like I'm having a visit, and not just shopping.

I was in on the weekend, because I'm putting together an outfit for our Christmas Party this week. The theme is old and new Hollywood, and I was looking for a crinoline to match my vintage 50s cocktail dress. Not only did I find one, but it's hot pink and matches the hint of pink on the gown. Score!

And another thing...

The next time I have my teeth cleaned, would you remind me not to apply lip colour before I go in. Otherwise, I might end up looking like Carol Channing again.

Canadian Political Leadership is an Oxymoron

I've been hiding my eyes and cowering behind the settee as our ridiculous politicians duke it out for the role of school yard bully.

I say, fire them all. And I have a few suggestions for who could replace them.

Ann Murray. This Canadian songbird understands the Canadian identity (think "Snowbird"), plays a killer game of golf, and has East Coast roots, which probably means she'd stop to help us start our cars if they stalled in winter. A vote for Ann Murray is a vote for Canadiana.

Michaelle Jean. Sure she's our Governor General, but she's a lot prettier than the other candidates in the pool, and she's proven she likes a good documentary. Jean was just one of the reasons I watched The Passionate Eye with a certain amount of religious fervour.

Steven Page. This lead singer of the Barenaked Ladies, who was unfortunately busted for cocaine possession about the same time his children's album came out, would at least have the manufactured energy for the job. Plus, who can get his "Lovers in a Dangerous Time" song out of their heads.

Pierre Trudeau. Do you actually have to be alive to be Prime Minister? I don't think so. Have you seen Stephane Dion recently?

The Jonas Brothers. Want leaders that will get the kids excited? Marketing idea: a kissable ballot.

First things first

There's no getting around. Christmas is coming, whether you're ready for it or not.

This morning, my office building hosted their annual Thank You breakfast. As testament to our city's multiculturalism, Santa weighed 90 pounds and hailed from Ho Chi Minh City. God, I love this town.

Like you, I have a billion things to do before the holidays.

There seems to be a party every other night and the projects on my plate have really ramped up recently. Plus, I just found out I'm travelling for work again -- which really cuts into my present-buying time.

I know from experience that competitive deadlines can make me a little crazy. While my first instinct is to rush wildly in a million different directions, I really just need to breathe deeply and do one thing at a time.

Focus. Practice mindfulness.

It's not the activity that makes the difference. It's my attitude to the activity.

Ho. Ho. Ommmmm.

Fairytale of New York

Part Christmas Carol, part cautionary tale, here's a song that not only makes laugh, it makes me want to floss. You won't find the Pogues lead singer's ugly mug in The Big Book of British Smiles anytime soon.

Happy Christmas.

Observing World AIDS Day

Since today is the 20th anniversary of World AIDS Day, "Happy" would definitely be the wrong greeting to put in front of the title.

HIV stands for the Human Immunodeficiency Virus -- the virus that leads to Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS).

HIV attacks the body’s immune system, our defense against infection and disease, and weakens it over time. A person who has HIV gradually loses the protection of his or her immune system and begins to experience health problems. These may be fairly small problems at first – skin problems or yeast infections – but over time the illnesses become more serious. The amount of time that it takes HIV to begin to affect a person’s health varies widely from one individual to another.

When a person is diagnosed with one of the serious illnesses or cancers which are “AIDS-defining,” the person is then said to have AIDS.

Since the early 1990s, the rate of new HIV infections has declined among men who have sex with men and among injection drug users. This is good news.

But in contrast, infections arising from heterosexual contact have risen steadily, from 13% in 1993 to 43.8% in 2003. And the greatest increase in new infections has been among young women, aged 15 to 29. At present, heterosexual transmission accounts for nearly 75% of all new infections in women.

Physiological differences between females and males – sex - place women at greater risk of infection. But social roles and cultural expectations - gender - are critical factors in women's heightened vulnerability to HIV infection. Because women often have less power - social, economic, political - than men in our society, it can be difficult or even impossible for many to refuse sex or negotiate safer sex.

Gender roles and stereotypes also hinder women's ability to manage HIV and AIDS-related infections. Women diagnosed with HIV tend to, according to Health Canada "have a lower survival rate than men" in part due to "late diagnosis and delay of treatment because of misdiagnosis of early symptoms; exclusion from drug trials and lack of access to antiviral treatment; lack of research into the natural history of HIV in women; higher rates of poverty among women and lack of access to adequate health care; and the tendency of many women to make self-care a lower priority than the care of children and family."

While women as a group are more vulnerable than men to HIV infection and AIDS-related illnesses, some populations of women face significantly greater risks. For example, HIV affects more than twice as many Aboriginal as non-Aboriginal women in Canada. As elsewhere in the world, women in Canada who are most disadvantaged and marginalized are also most vulnerable to HIV.

On the whole, policies and programs aimed at HIV prevention, treatment, care, support and impact mitigation have not focussed on, nor - in some cases - even taken account of the differential needs of women and the gender dimensions of the epidemic.

If you've made it this far, I'd encourage you to observe World AIDS Day by seeking out and supporting an organization committed to providing support for some of the more marginalized members of our society.

In Toronto, three excellent organizations that I know of are: Voice of Positive Women (www.vopw.org), The Teresa Group (www.teresagroup.ca) and Casey House (www.caseyhouse.com).