Bosses I Have Loved

I'm having dinner with one of my old bosses tonight.

We see each other with some regularity. When I transitioned from the world of not for profit to the world of mainstream advertising, he was the first guy who took a chance on me. He remains one of my favourite employers and a trusted friend.

Being a good boss takes a lot of work but it helps if you're blessed with an innate sense of fairness.

Fairness counts more than niceness in my books, though equal parts of both are better if you're on the receiving end. Knowing that your boss operates from a moral imperative is also good when it comes to questioning why they do some things and not others. It's nice to know they answer to a Higher Power who isn't just the bald, Satanic dude at head office.

When layoffs happen, which seem to be somewhat inevitable these days, it's nice to know that a good boss suffered a lot to make the decision. You know he or she didn't come by it easily. And you know they're working behind the scenes to find safe landing pads for their untethered former employees.

Being a good boss is often a thankless job. Few people turn up at your door and say, "Hey, thanks for the fair compensation package. Everything's going just fine. Thanks for having my back in that process meeting today."

So to you, good bosses of the world, I send up a silent prayer. Thanks for makiing a difference.

Two Hours I'll Never Get Back

I spent two mind-numbing hours watching The Bachelor last night. It was as though the battery on my channel changer had died, or I'd temporarily lost part of my frontal lobe.

This franchise would have us believe that dozens of gorgeous, seemingly successful and right-minded women would line up to compete for the affections of a good-looking single Dad.

Really, are times that tough?

I personally know half a dozen decent 30-something guys I could set them up with. Trouble is...no TV cameras to follow them around. Might be a deal-breaker.

Last night, in what can only be described as legalized prostitution, they either accepted or rejected his invitation for an overnight date in the "fantasy" suite at the hotel.

Yup, I'd want my Mom to watch me have pre-marital sex on network TV. Everyone at St. Rita's Church would be so proud.

In the season finale, The Bachelor introduces his son, who appears to be about five years old, to the girls.

This is exactly the way you want your kid to meet his new Mother. In the trailer, one of the girls tells him a cringe-worthy "knock knock" joke. She probably has a Boarding School brochure in her back pocket.

Someone should really call child services. It'll be the most dramatic rose ceremony ever!

What's love got to do with it?

In honour of Valentine's Day -- the day I celebrate on the 15th, with the solo purchase of half price chocolate -- I wanted to share some things in life that I love.

1) Peanut butter and banana sandwiches. It's true. I've got a little of the Elvis in me.
2) The second cup of coffee on a Saturday morning when you know you don't need to rush out the door.
3) People who do the right thing, even when no one else is looking.
4) Anyone who gives up their public transit seat to an older person, without being asked.
5) Ju Jubes. Not sours.
6) Getting off an airplane somewhere I've never been.
7) Aid workers.
8) Broadway show tunes.
9) Clean sheets.
10) Clothes lines and cities that don't ban them.
11) People who have a passion for something I know nothing about -- collectors of almost anything, historians, lovers of lost causes.
12) The Westminster Dog Show, although I'm always happy when the standard poodle doesn't win.
13) The gentle rolls of fat on a baby's leg.
14) Theatre popcorn with cheddar cheese shakey stuff.
15) Documentaries.
16) Going for walks.
17) Reading the Sunday New York Times Magazine.
18) Changing from my work clothes into my yoga pants, the minute I get home.
19) Having a cat that's happy to see me.
20) Holding hands.
21) Dalton McGuinty, for giving us a new holiday in February.

Here's to more things to love, starting with today.

Today's Weather: Frost

Today's little tidbit in my Zen Day by Day calendar was from your friend and mine, Robert Frost.

You'll remember that Frost stopped by the woods on a snowy evening to contemplate two diverging paths. He's one of those rare poets who actually had some measure of fame and notoriety before he died. It's not easy to be a famous poet.

Anyway, today's bit of wisdom was this:

The only way out is through.

It's a good message, both for the next three weeks when my boss is away, and my work load will pretty much double, and for the current state of the economy. It's a good message for just about anything this old life can throw at us.

The more we try to avoid the reality of the situation, the harder it'll be.

It's gonna work out, so you might as well just relax and go with it.

Heathers

Here's a lesson in aversion for you. I don't like Heathers.

Naturally I'm referring to the clique of girls in the 1989 cult classic of the same name and not to actual women named Heather -- many of whom I like quite a lot.

I've been thinking a lot about Heathers, because we've got a budding group of them here in my office.

A small group of girls, led by one particularly strong and troubled one, are noticeably distancing themselves from everyone.

They sit together in group meetings and whisper together, even when our GM is talking. They lunch together, apart from the crowd. When someone who is not a part of the group approaches them, they stop talking. And last week at our off-site bowling activity, they kept to themselves, never mixing with the group. It was a little uncomfortable.

Let me be clear, here. People of like-minded interests have every right to form groups. It's natural selection, for god's sake. But this goes beyond. There's an element of judgement and intolerance to these Heathers.

Add to this a conversation I recently had with someone in a group to which I belong. Whether it's happening as she sees it or not, she feels that she's been wrongfully excluded, even bullied. She's suffering quite a lot over it.

I'm tremendously sensitive to this sort of thing because I'm by nature inclusive, and I honestly can't stand the thought of anyone feeling hurt and excluded.

I desperately want to "fix" it.

But I realize that I'm powerless over how others behave.

Sure there are laws to protect people if actual discrimination is taking place, but I can't make people behave nicely to one another. I can't demand morality.

We're all responsible for our own karma. Even Heathers.

How important is it?

My day's been hijacked by events outside my control

I arrived extra early to ensure I'd get everything done that needed to get done.

But what I thought I was going to do when I got into work this morning has been replaced by a whole host of new things I need to do, because one of my co-workers is home with a sick child.

Clearly, sick child trumps everything else.

Well, at least I'm not cleaning diarrhea out of my new Berber carpet.

I'm breathing in and out with the knowledge that my day will unfold as it should.

Food for Thought

I drove in to work this morning because I have an early morning presentation and I'm retrieving my dear friend from Ottawa from the Island Airport after work this evening.

On the way in, the DJs were asking each other and the listeners what food, if any, they'd have difficulty giving up...FOREVER.

Is there anything you love so much that you can't conceive of life without it?

Cheese seemed to be a popular item. As delightfully artery clogging as our fatty little friend can be, most people can't imagine anything more joyless than a life with more mac and no cheese.

One fellow cited salty meat -- back bacon, smoked meat, jerky -- while another said he couldn't live without pears. In fact, he has a pear of some variety every day. For some reason, I found this incredibly sweet and endearing.

For me there would be a few things that would be hard to give up.

Lactose intolerance would be a terrible curse for me, since you could wake me up in the middle of the night, hand me a bowl of frozen yoghurt, and I would eat it with gusto.

Fresh cherries are another food I'd have trouble giving up. During cherry season, I eat them every day. I sometimes even buy them in winter, despite the fact that they rival Gold on a cost per ounce basis.

How about you?